Paper Handshakes

So everyone's so into the British heartthrob, Robert Thomas Pattinson. He was just 7 days earlier than my birthday(May 21) and he is feverishly known for his immortalized role as Edward Cullen in the hit movie Twilight. Now, Im not writing a feature article here since almost all girls are blogging the same thing so no more inside facts. Aside from his Scottish decent, his definitley crooked smile captivated a lot of girls' hearts eventhough he insisted he was not interested in entering a relationship with one. Well he used to model and Im dying to see his model photos before when he was all in the adrogynous sort of era in the fashion world. I wonder what he looks like.

Also, aside from doing dashing vampire roles; im so excited to see him doing the role of Salvador Dali in Little Ashes. You might as well want to know the sypnosis so I will let you indulge into this screen a little more without linking to Wikipedia.

Little Ashes is a 2009 British drama film, set against the backdrop of fascist Spain as three of the era's most creative young talents meet at university and set off on a course to change their world. Luis Buñuel watches helplessly as the friendship between Salvador Dalí and the poet Federico García Lorca develops into an unusual love affair.

In 1922, 18-year old Salvador Dalí (Robert Pattinson) arrives at university in Madrid. The Residencia de Estudiantes, or student residences, is a modern environment which encourages Spain's brightest young minds. Salvador, who is determined to become a great artist, soon catches the attention of the Resi's social elite – poet Federico García Lorca (Javier Beltran) and aspiring filmmaker Luis Buñuel (Matthew McNulty). Together they form the nucleus of the most modern group in Madrid.

Their private lives become increasingly complex as Federico ignores the advances of devoted friend and writer Magdalena (Marina Gatell), and Salvador himself feels the pull of Lorca's magnetism. Luis, becoming increasingly isolated by the duo's closeness, decides to move to Paris to fulfill his own artistic ambitions, leaving Salvador and Federico to spend the summer at the seaside village of Cadaques.

Federico finds himself accepted into the Dali family as he and Salvador grow closer until, one night, their friendship becomes more. Even as they draw closer, their relationship appears doomed. Luis visits them at university and becomes more suspicious and appalled by their apparent closeness.

Dali finds Lorca's obsession with him more than he is prepared to handle and moves to Paris. Consumed by the high society and decadence, Dali is soon entangled with Gala (Arly Jover) a married woman with a penchant for celebrities. When Lorca visits, he finds his friend is a changed man, about his life, his love and his politics.

So everyone's so into the British heartthrob, Robert Thomas Pattinson. He was just 7 days earlier than my birthday(May 21) and he is feverishly known for his immortalized role as Edward Cullen in the hit movie Twilight. Now, Im not writing a feature article here since almost all girls are blogging the same thing so no more inside facts. Aside from his Scottish decent, his definitley crooked smile captivated a lot of girls' hearts eventhough he insisted he was not interested in entering a relationship with one. Well he used to model and Im dying to see his model photos before when he was all in the adrogynous sort of era in the fashion world. I wonder what he looks like.

Also, aside from doing dashing vampire roles; im so excited to see him doing the role of Salvador Dali in Little Ashes. You might as well want to know the sypnosis so I will let you indulge into this screen a little more without linking to Wikipedia.

Little Ashes is a 2009 British drama film, set against the backdrop of fascist Spain as three of the era's most creative young talents meet at university and set off on a course to change their world. Luis Buñuel watches helplessly as the friendship between Salvador Dalí and the poet Federico García Lorca develops into an unusual love affair.

In 1922, 18-year old Salvador Dalí (Robert Pattinson) arrives at university in Madrid. The Residencia de Estudiantes, or student residences, is a modern environment which encourages Spain's brightest young minds. Salvador, who is determined to become a great artist, soon catches the attention of the Resi's social elite – poet Federico García Lorca (Javier Beltran) and aspiring filmmaker Luis Buñuel (Matthew McNulty). Together they form the nucleus of the most modern group in Madrid.

Their private lives become increasingly complex as Federico ignores the advances of devoted friend and writer Magdalena (Marina Gatell), and Salvador himself feels the pull of Lorca's magnetism. Luis, becoming increasingly isolated by the duo's closeness, decides to move to Paris to fulfill his own artistic ambitions, leaving Salvador and Federico to spend the summer at the seaside village of Cadaques.

Federico finds himself accepted into the Dali family as he and Salvador grow closer until, one night, their friendship becomes more. Even as they draw closer, their relationship appears doomed. Luis visits them at university and becomes more suspicious and appalled by their apparent closeness.

Dali finds Lorca's obsession with him more than he is prepared to handle and moves to Paris. Consumed by the high society and decadence, Dali is soon entangled with Gala (Arly Jover) a married woman with a penchant for celebrities. When Lorca visits, he finds his friend is a changed man, about his life, his love and his politics.

 

I got eyesore from this computer screen that looks like waving infront of me. Im rushing our movie in one of our minor subjects and it looks like my natural black eyes will be bleached by this "technological occurrence". Inshort, shit!

So while The Ting Tings are serenading me with their Eight-year Old poppy theme songs, Im off to be patient and I know this freaking activity had developed that amazingly. Editing is the most bloodiest part of a film production and I knew a lot of my classmates in the same boat though they might be better than me. I havent started this whole mess and before I can kill myuself due to this monotonous memento of sitting my ass on a monobloc chair, my earlids sored by this big headphones and my eyes already half-blind, I have to compose myself by exercising my fingertips.

This is by far the secong blog Ive typed since I dont know anything more enjoyable than to talk infront of a computescreen vua typing it out. Of course there's this occasional proofreading since it irks me whenever my sentences are poor in grammar.

God Forbid when Hayley Williams once told in her blogs that "DO NOT EVER PROOFREAD YOUR BLOGS!HEHEHE!"

That's Hayley,not me.

And the title, that's the song Ive uploaded right now. Gee, this is the first time my Multiply had its finest moments of existence. Thanks to that stupid movie.

Now the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums....well those are lyrics from the Ting Tings Great DJ. I know, after this whole day I will sing those drums-thing up until I sing myself off to sleep.

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah......

Great DJ, how I freaking hate that song!

Im so intoxicated with Lady Gaga's music nowadays and while im typing this blog out, im listening to her posted songs in Myspace. Im never a fan of powerpop, techno, electronica and eurotrash but I found her share of music a good taste to savour at and lick my lollipop into and suck it! (No subliminal meaning included)

I first heard her song Pokerface tyhrough mainstream radios and one of my classmates had a severe LSS to that song and sad to say Im infected! The first time Ive heard her, she sounded so Christina Aguilera and eventually was noted as an Aguilera dejavu. But Christina's fame has long been gone and Lady Gaga was sure trampling her tombstone to fame, as what she is proclaiming in her latest album, the Fame.

At first glance, she look like Amy Winehouse with that jaw emphasized by her wig-like hair. But between those two artists, Ill definitely go to Lady Gaga. I never like Amy, musically-wise she's good but rehab is the only song my eardrums cans take and that's it. Lady Gaga's songs though rampantly techno, is feverely fresh and I cant help but to dance all around a room though I have to behave right now(Im in a netshop though).

"Buffling with my Muffin"

Her words are girlishly standardized for boys boys boys and even imaginative as the song Paparazzi hits the track. Pokerface is so far the most addictive song but Just Dance and Eh Eh will lead you to sing along with lyrics. Most people say that she's a copycat of most pop artists without a certain distinction. Maybe that's why she posted the Cherry Tree Sessions where her musicality will be praised and even worshipped. She plays along jazzy themes and vocals that will make people think twice about her as an artist.

"I love this record baby."

 

 

My mind is constantly bleeding. My back was filled with burdens, loads that I can still carry but most of the times I found myself crying silently. I found solace and refuge through my pen and paper. Yet most of the times, the ideas are lost...in an empty space so I have to quick to get them.

My week lately has been filled with constant allegations, unsteady conclusions about trust and deceptions, analyzing actions trying to find a loophole of a simple but contradictory complicated event, anxiety over grades that mark our lives in order to be human and the endless wants.

I hate myself for leading my life like an idiot.I hate myself for promising for personal change but nothing happened.I hate myself by creating an ego that totally hides who I am.I hate myself for not making promises to come true.

And I hate myself for not coming up a decent blog I have planned in my head lately as Im pacing my way right infront of the computer screen.

 

I dont know why the mouth just keeps on talking on its own sometimes. Most of the time, it brings danger zones yet the slip of the tongue sometimes lead to a final settlement of things.But why are there some people who crafted stories in order to gain destruction of human relationships? Why are there people who loves to pull someone down? Why do some peopleenjoy that dirty business of lying?

I cannot truly understand. I hate catfights but then I would gladly engage if my friends were sauteed in an unlikely frying pan. I hate open wars but I would gladly engage myself in order to protect not just my lot but the other halves of me.

>>I HATE YOU BALI!

Youre the best story maker ever! I thought you really cared but you only cared about your own. Concern is not defined by making two lines meet a violent point but to ease the fire. Youre playing safe. You created wars from the two peaceful poles in order to gain...what? Your AMAZING sympathy? Come on!

Youre a hypocrite. You tell people what should NOT be done yet after the statements you DO the things you have advised?! Stupidity lies on those people who said they are not stupid yet their actions proved them otherwise.

Youre the damned queen of lies. When somebody confronted you, you clean your hands from the dust you personally crafted.So, you dont like PLASTICS but youre one of them. What an irony?!

Youre a two-sided coin. You brag people when you can get some advantage from them. Yet when you hate them, you stab them quickly in their backs.

You cannot be trusted. You will use the sacred secrets to scatter their own dirt if they pull your hair.

Ive never hated a person this deep before. But hey, it's never wrong to have the first time.

In countries with snow...it's white christmas. If it's a sad one, blue. I really dont know what's a red one but it may simply represent the feeling of being happy. It's the very first time that Im not celebrating on my mother's side province but I know Im having so much fun than ever now. I always tell to myself in realization that Christmas doesnt feel like Christmas as Im getting older and it gets to be repetitive and boring. Planning about delicacies and foods, gifts to wrap and unwrapped, putting money on pockets from uncles and aunts, gaining weight from too much eating and a whole lot more.

I wanted it all to be different. I might get my wish now.

December 24 is my lola's bday and usually that's the day were getting away from the city to Tarlac. Now, Im happy to say that I laugh all my wits out with my cousins, eat ravenously without thinking about cholesterol (like I ever care), give gifts and receive gifts too from unexpected recepients and being with my family which is a "scarce" oppurtunity in my case now. Nothing feels like home. I loved being in it and happily accepting a tiresome body at the end of the day for a long, soundly and goodnight sleep.

So even it's only 24, Im expecting more tomorrow and be dogtired after all of it.

Enjoy Christmas guys!

It's been along time since I have posted something. It's been last summer since my last blog and I feel kinda updated...no, not just kinda...but really...SUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR UPDATED.
Im back in college and personally studies is taking a toll in my sanity. Gee, now I feel how to have Angst.
Im back to my university who do nothing but to torture your body while enlightening your soul. A curse and a gift at the same time. Im thinking of a lot of things since Im studying ethics and eventually getting a lot of philosophies will either make your stand for today or break your faith for tomorrow. I had major subjects now and it drains all my creative juices. Like when we have to produce a gagshow. Everything that I had conceptualize backfired(i am considered as the leader). We survive a bit but my body didnt. I rested for two days, sacrificing quizzes, meetings and all the classroom dramas. Good thing were nearing finals. Then sembreak. At least my every little bit of me will rest for three weeks. I can cook up a novel there if my laptop will cooperate well with me(my god! It needed medication! It got VIRUS!)I can say I havent written for such a long time except in our journalism class. I begun to be rusty and oh, I miss the words flowing out from me while pushing the buttons of the faded keyboards of this computer.(Im having a guessing game at the letters on the keyboards once in a while).

Well, they said blogs should be snappy and short so Im finishing this already. Hope to have a good day to everyone!Sayonara!

Every song means something. I'm a big fan of music and I always find myself putting that earphones in my earlobes and listen seriously to every beat, lyrics, message and all that stuff. 

When I'm angry, I listen to metal and screamos. When I'm sad, acoustic and a little bit of jazz. When I feel loved, stupid love songs. When on party mode, hip-hop and pop.

Everyday, I have t manage to different moods.
It's hard to pick one for a theme song.
So now, I'm torned between two.
But when I look into the lyrics again I think I'll do it with a song from daphne loves derby and try to muster every word.

The winner: THE LONGEST STORY.

Far past these roads there is a place
Where all of our precious dreams remain
Someday I know
I’ll find a way
To keep myself from holding on.
Stay awake with the sound of my voice
I'm restless from the silence in the air.
I want to be somewhere I can see the roads
A place where every time you breathe a wish comes true
I want to be where love is real
And memories of distant days come to life again
Inside this room, time will stand still
As long as I'm not aware of change
The world outside leaves me behind by myself
There's no mercy for those who hold on.

Stay awake with the sound of my voice
I’m restless from the silence in the air
I want to be somewhere I can see the roads
A place where every time you breathe a wish comes true
I want to be where love is real
And memories of distant days come to life again

Far past these roads there is a place
Where all of our precious dreams remain
Someday I know
I’ll find a way
To keep myself from holding on.

I want to be somewhere I can see the roads
A place where every time you breathe a wish comes true
I want to be where love is real
And memories of distant days come to life again

Each life has it's own story.
Definitely, this song does in my own.

Well, this summer..im always off. Free and kicking entries after another. But since it's an if question, I prefer to have an adventurous trip all over old montreal and take cool shots of the place by morning to mid-noon. Then have a lunch at a cute burrito restaurant and by afternoon, going to mount royal and view the great landscape below. I wuld like to be with my crush and just spend the whole day while touring with him alongside sweet talk.

Awww...
Now I really wanna go there!

It’s already midnight but my blood is still alive. I’ve been mustering some ideas in my head that pass my imagination as I’m listening to some good music. Thinking of some instances in my life if I had the chance to do so are the ideas that seem to pushed deep into my neurons. Honestly, I don’t want where my life is leading me right now. I’m currently in my second year in college and I wish I could survive this school year. My dad keep on telling me that I have to study hard so that I can have a good work someday and the burden of responsibilities will soon drowned my system. I’m having a good plan about all of these “growing-up” stages, but I don’t want to grow now. Just as yet. I wanted to know myself better so that when I mature, I’m certainly sure that I’m on the right track.

                The path I’m leading and deciding to walk into, will be very, very suicidal. I’ve decided to really burn the midnight oil until nothing was left in the lamp. My best friends will be the books stacked upon dusty book shelves in our university’s library. I will widen my vocabulary, try to learn French on my own; hook up with a guitar and look for some classmate who had the entire patient to teach a slow-learner like me. Also, I wanted to discover or unearth some artistic talents in me. It’s been a time long since I’ve drawn a comic series so I might start back to that talent and who knows what might happen. I’m also dying to learn html and try to remember the right codes so that I can also be artistic online. More blogs to post and more upgrades for my profile in one social site, more bands to listen and play with all the good tunes so that I can cook a good song afterwards.

                You might say, “Man! That’s not suicidal!” but hey, it is.

                All of the goals I’ve listed as much as possible, I wanted to dedicate my time and the outcome: no social contact so much. It’s a social suicide. No love life (certainly! It’s just a waste of time), not so much hanging-out and just compensating with my selfish lifestyle. I don’t want anybody to annoy me nor any one stopping me saying “Man! Go get some sunlight! You look like you’re thrown up!” Thanks for the concern but I don’t care.

                I also wanted to write more novels since it’s been a while. This time, I wanted to be a serious writer and dreaming of a New York’s bestseller in the making. So many ideas are running and my grip on them is not too strong, I’m afraid they might run away from me. While they are still in my hands, they belong to me and to no one else. If I became successful here, I might figure out more of life’s beauty and then I might slap my face for thinking life is a chain that keeps on manacling me so I will not get hurt so much.

                                                                

                I’ve been hurt a lot of times. My heart is ripped by some stupid boy that I call as “little mister idiot”. I wanted some revenge, real sweet revenge. I’m still cooking a plan. Perhaps I will murder him but since I love God, I wouldn’t dare.

                My relationship with God is fading, I’m totally being honest. I wanted to pray but my system soon blacks out if I attempt to. I miss the good times of my life where smiles aren’t faked and where beauty is genuine and so, so real. I wanted to read his promises and try to lock it up in my heart but my hands are so cold and I can’t feel any energy to open it. I wanted to be the “little miss innocent” that seems so far away from my new profound self. I will dedicate my time in him now and perhaps give half of my life to my soul corrupted by pain, grudge and agony. 

        

                All of the words I’ve written right in this document are my new conviction and I wanted to end up being vindicated. I hope I can push myself to love more of the laughter than tears and to feel the warmth of sunshine every after down pour.

                I hope so man. I really hope so.

Don't want the world to know
That You have been broken and abused...
by YOU...

    I've been listening to some Flyleaf songs lately. Their songs are awesome and freakingly good for a music lover who yearns for some good tatse in music. I like most of them, as I haven't listened to all of their songs in their discography. 
 
      Most of their songs are striking, if not...awesome and beautiful you'll find yourself with flowing tears if you really muster their song. But I'm not going to review the band here in my first post entry. 

I love the song Amy Says.
It's about hope in the most difficult times that many people think it's the end of their life spans.
But there's a twist: the difficulties were not made by someone, something or whatever being except the PERSON herself.

For teenagers, broken hearts are hard to mend especially if that's thei first time to love somebody. It's like the end of the world for them. Then they cannot eat, sometimes talk and hugged themselves on the dark corner of their room alone with tears flowing their pale cheeks. Oh! The pain of teen hearts.

They beat so fast then they die so slowly you can taste the blood.

I am a seventeen-year old gal with the same problems. My heart has been ripped by an idiot then tied myself in isolation for comfort. All the time, I thought everything was breaking down in me then I created a fear of loving someone again. Up to this time, I don't like to engage myself to a mushy realitionship and I think I'm better off alone, compensating with life's difficulties and struggles.

But while I was in the "sorrow" zone, my thoughts are far from earth that I even forgot and even missed my midterm exams. I've managed to cut a left innocent wrist with safety pins but it was so shallow it didn't even bleed but scarred and now, no trace left at all. I wanted to scream, murder him and his new "her" , write stupid revenge songs to ease the anger, swear and raise my middle finger while he's not looking, try to stab him in the back, posted angry shout-outs in my friendster profile, kick grasses on our university's garden because I've seen him again then promise myself to forget him, the moments but will never forgive him till I meet my death bed.

I found the world as unforgiving for a girl like me who never dream of boyfriends or fairytales but just a name listed on the bulletin board, topping the dean's list. 

A friend of mine told me that the situation was so over but I'm still crawling on.
Meaning in the end, I'm left being miss little stupid.

I cannot accept that. 
Until Ive heard the song AMY SAYS, I've realized that I am.
I am stupid. 
I let myself be broken and abused not by him but me in the end. I let anger flowed me that clouds the beautiful life ahead of me. I let the situation to depress me and forgot the word hope for the meantime.

I'm a total EMO that time and I hate myself for doing that.

It rain so hard yesterday and me, my mom and my two siblings went on our rooftop to taste the pouring rain. It's been a long time since Ive let myself be soaked by the nature's shower. And I felt good. I felt alive again. It's like a theraphy from all the made-up pains and all the suicidal attempts Ive foolishly done. 

Hearing Amy says makes me feel good about myself again.
So good.
I can taste it. It's sweet.


>>

Flyleaf - Amy Says lyrics

Amy says she's all alone,
Says the world doesn't even know
About the pain she hides inside
Says happiness is just a lie
Smell the roses throw them down
Just whisper, don't make a sound
Don't want the world to know the truth
You've been broken and abused...by you

Amy says
"I see you laughing at the rain that hits your face
With your arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world I find so hard you find so beautiful
There's a hope in you deep inside for me."

The colors of her mind
Bleed into each other
As the morning melts the night
And the stars enchant another
While her eyes are still held shut
She can hear you breathing softly
Your words echo in her mind
And your words are clear and she knows that you are here

Yes
I see her laughing at the rain that hits her face
With her arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world she found so hard she finds so beautiful
There's a hope in her deep inside from you